I posed two questions in my newsletter last week to prime readers for the new year. As we walk through December, it is an optimal time to contemplate the upcoming year. I asked, "What are you carrying within you?" and "What are you leaving behind?"
I hit send and shortly therafter realized how hard those may be to answer. And so, I felt a little phony to not do the work myself and sit with those questions.
In reflection of the last year, a common thread that illuminates is a growing sense of self concept. I felt in tune to goals, frienships, relationships, my emotions, my physical body and movement practices, and nature. I feel comfortable and confident in my expression of self, whether that be in conversation or by clothing, to strangers or old friends, to mentors and to peers. I am tenacious and motivated, something I have known for a long time, but more recently have recognized as a 'warriors spirit'. I push in pursuit of goals, I try new things, I take big leaps. I do so by affirming myself that I am tough, strong, brave.
In recognition of the 'warrior' within me, I acknowledge the protective armour I don to keep me away from the more difficult parts of existance. I would like to let down the shield. There are emotions, histories and truths that can't be shyed away from just because I feel I am tough and strong. Can I, instead, accept that times can be both challenging and beautiful -- and that there may be glimpses of joy in strife?
The opportunity to sit with these questions leads me here:
What are you carrying with you?
Into the new year, I carry the warrior's spirit. The knowledge that I AM tough, brave, and strong but I don't always have to be.
I call in acceptance.
What are you leaving behind?
Into the new year, I leave behind the warrior's fight. I will begin to build windows in my walls, and maybe a door.
I will leave behind avoidance.