Unroll the mat. Check the temperature of the room. Turn on the salt lamps. Put on the pre-yoga playlist. Students arrive. Chatter begins. Some lay on their backs or their bellies and let the day wash over them. Lock the door. Cue the music. Sit down. Now we begin the practice of yoga (Sutra 1.1). Atha yoganusasanama.
I didn't miss teaching much before now. For the past 5 months, I was a beginner once more. Practicing Bikram was invigorating and a constant. An unchanging practice, it was a net to catch me (as Lyz says of Rocket). The structure was necessary and I leaned on it when there were too many question marks floating in my head to let my practice be another one. I felt myself drifting from Bikram while I was home. It felt too rigid, almost competitive. The practice no longer suited the needs of the student. Now, I find myself back in flowing spaces.
Space that has returned mantra to my head and heart, graciously allowed me to move in unconforming ways, and offers me curiosity. This space has also returned teaching to my brain. In the shower, I imagined leading a class through a neck and shoulder series. I unrolled my mat to do a home practice. I opened up my Journey to the Heart book, what did it feel like to share the power of words with students? Okay, okay. I miss teaching yoga.
I am offering myself more space and time to sort through these thoughts. With each finite end of a contract I hadn't given much thought to teaching while on the job. Perhaps the next contract I will stay longer, or maybe I will reach out to sub while I'm here. There's something that holds me back -- becoming rooted once more.
In recognition of the wonderful teachers who inspire me to teach; namaste.